Category Archives: Culture

Walking Wounded

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BME 2015

This weekend I attended an annual event hosted by Better Man Ministries here in Central Florida. During the middle of this event, a local Pastor of a very large congregation was recognized for his commitment to advancing the Kingdom of God in his community. He was given a moment to share a few words, and he vividly stated what so many men in that room knew from experience:

“The question is not IF you will be wounded in life, the question is WHEN you will be wounded.”

After he detailed the tragic passing of his grandchild, and the suicide of his son, he then said this:

“The LORD permits what He hates, to accomplish what He loves.”

What a powerful statement, by a wounded man who stood in front of thousands of wounded men.

The odds are good that you have been wounded. Some wounds deeper than others. I know I have. The thing about wounds is that they WILL happen and there is not much you can do about it. You may not be a follower of Christ, but the problem of pain and hurt in your life is no less a reality.

Some people believe and preach that as Christians, we are immune to wounds, but a quick glance at your past proves that to be false. A quick glance at Scripture proves that to be false. Scripture is littered with wounded men and women and we follow a Jesus that was the most wounded of them all.

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.

Isaiah 53:5

Where do wounds come from? What is the source? How are we to deal with them?

Sources of Wounds:

Sin – As a follower of Jesus, I believe THE source of brokenness, loss, and pain in the world is sin. Now, this of course is the Sunday School answer so I will flesh it out a bit. Here are some examples:

Sin against You – Someone turns the sword on you, and wounds you. Abuse, neglect, rejection, denial, hate etc. The act of someone sinning against you that leaves a wound.

Sin against Yourself – You turning the sword on yourself. Destructive habits, addictions, poor choices and their consequences etc. Even if you deny the existence of sin, you cannot deny that some of your decisions have wounded you.

Loss – Broken relationships, death, crushed hopes and dreams etc. If you live long enough, you will lose someone close to you. If you engage in relationship, then there is a chance that it could end for no real reason. That happens sometimes and it still leaves a wound.

How are we to respond?

INVITE OTHERS IN –

Take a look at this story from the Gospel of John.

Jesus Appears to Thomas

Now Thomas (also known as Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!”

But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”

A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”

Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”

Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

John 20:24-29

You see, this amazes me. Jesus invited Thomas to put his hand into His side. He invited Thomas into His wound. He showed Thomas it was real. He was pierced but He was now alive.

We have to follow this model that Jesus put forward. Invite others in to your wound. Allow them to see that it is real, but you are still alive and moving forward.

BE VULNERABLE AGAIN –

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” – C.S. Lewis

Pain teaches us a lesson: “Do not repeat that action, because it hurts.”

This is why we only touch the hot stove once when our Mom says not to.

It is also why we are less vulnerable after a failed relationship. A failed attempt to love someone. Or love rejected. Our hearts and minds tell us: “Do not repeat that action, because it hurts.”

Apply wisdom when being vulnerable, but absolutely commit to being vulnerable again.

ENGAGE IN LIFE –

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” – Teddy Roosevelt

Once wounded, our tendency will be to withdraw. That is what pain does; whether it is physical, relational, or emotional. We must fight this tendency. Engage in life. Engage in the battle to advance the mission of Christ. Engage in the gritty, messy, and broken aspects of people’s lives. Jesus stepped down into the muck of our lives, pressed on through wounds, and continues to engage us to this day.

As one wounded person to another, I encourage you to continue walking.

Keep Walking

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friendly Fire

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Pat Tillman

Pat Tillman, professional athlete turned Army Ranger, died 10 years ago in an attack in Afghanistan. The worst part about this attack is that enemy forces did not carry it out, it was carried out by friendly forces AKA Friendly Fire.

Friendly fire is loosely defined as “an attack by a military force on friendly forces while attempting to attack the enemy, either misidentifying the target as hostile, or due to errors or inaccuracy. Such attacks often cause injury or death.”

This was a terrible tragedy resulting in loss of life, a decrease in combat effectiveness, and utter embarrassment for the US Armed Forces.

This incident was a completely preventable occurrence. Of course in the course of battle it is sometimes difficult to discern what exactly is going on, where the enemy is located, where friendly forces are located, etc.

Here’s the thing though, friendly fire is not only occurring overseas during war. It is alive and well within the church.

Just think about it, we have a very real enemy that is out to “steal, kill, and destroy” and we have Christians battling each other over meaningless things.

Now don’t get me wrong, there is a place for debate within the church. Always has been and always will be. People have deeply held convictions and God is beyond our comprehension. There will be differences within the church.

What I am saying, is that we need to be careful that we don’t forget our primary mission when we engage in these debates with fellow Christians. Our mission is not to win debates against fellow believers. It is not to be right all the time. It is not to be a theological mastermind. And honestly, from personal experience, I can tell you that most of these debates are a waste of time.

Hear me on this, truly hear me on this and think about it:

The world is full of dying people that need the hope of Jesus.

 Question- how effective are you going to be at 1) battling the enemy and 2) reaching the lost if you are engaged in a battle with your buddy in the trenches next to you?

Answer- Not as effective as you could be.

I pray that we would embrace this reality, and devote our full energy to the mission of Jesus Christ.

 

The Measure of a Man

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What is the Measure of a Man?

What is the Measure of a Man?

What is the measure of a Man? Is it his bank account? His job title? His athletic prowess? His sexual conquests? His impact on the world?

It is all of these things, according to the world at least.

Heck, even in the church we are guilty of measuring men based on worldly criteria. I know I am guilty of it all the time. We measure men based on their involvement in the church, the size of their family, their leadership, their gifts.

Now don’t get me wrong, all of those things are valuable traits and I am not diminishing them at all. But they are not how we should measure men.

So what is the measure of a Man?

 The degree to which his heart is devoted to the Lord.

This is the only measure that God uses.

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.

1 Samuel 16:7

“I the LORD search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.”

Jeremiah 17:10

Neither before nor after Josiah was there a king like him who turned to the Lord as he did—with all his heart and with all his soul and with all his strength, in accordance with all the Law of Moses.

2 Kings 23:25

For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. You have done a foolish thing, and from now on you will be at war.”

2 Chronicles 16:9

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’

Matthew 22:36-37

Clearly the Lord sees things differently than we do. He searches our hearts and knows our thoughts. Josiah was recognized for his total devotion to the Lord, and Asa was disciplined for his failure to rely on the Lord in that particular instance. Other translations of 2 Chronicles 16:9 say that the eyes of the Lord “run to and fro throughout the whole earth”.

Just stop and think about that for a moment… God is looking for men with hearts wholly devoted to Him, so he can give them strength!!

And finally we see Jesus affirm that the greatest commandment is to completely devote our hearts (along with soul and mind) to the Lord.

Men in Scripture were measured by the condition of their hearts before the Lord.

And we, men of today, are measured by the same standard.

I pray for you and I pray for myself, I pray for all of us as men- May our hearts be wholly devoted to the Lord today. Amen.

Recapturing Today

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I often find that my day is consumed with thoughts of the future. In my weakest moments I become a slave to tomorrow. Worries and fears come to the forefront and I am paralyzed. Growing up and even to this day, Matthew 6:25-34 brought me comfort. 

Do Not Worry

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

In this passage we witness Jesus free us from worry. 

 You see, Jesus knew we would worry. He revealed that the root issue is our lack of faith.  He also revealed something that we all know from experience- worrying doesn’t solve anything. Pagans worry, followers of Jesus do not.

And why should we worry? He promises that God will meet those needs

Jesus also tells us about tomorrow. And what does He say? Focus on today! Today is challenging. Today is tough. Today is all you can handle! Tomorrow may come, and if it does, then handle it then. 

I tell you this because this is such a struggle for me. I desire to live each day for the glory of God, but as I said, I become a slave to tomorrow. How do we combat this?

The answer is simple- Faith.

If worry is the result of a lack of Faith, then the presence of Faith will squash worry. We must believe that Jesus is who He says He is in order to recapture today.

I pray that it would be so in my life and in yours. 

– B

Do Not Be Deceived:Truth

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In my previous entries in this blog series I took a look at what the world says men and women are respectively. What defines a man, what characteristics a woman should strive for etc…
Now, I hope to take a look at the truth. As always, we will begin with Scripture. This particular blog has weighed on me because of the nature of the content. What I am about to share has largely been rejected by our culture. It is not popular to “define” gender roles. Christianity is often mischaracterized as a religion that is based on male chauvinism. I pray that I would paint an accurate picture of what the Bible says about this issue.
As I said, the main source I will use is the Bible. For the individuals that do not believe the Bible is sufficient, I plan on adding support from science and my own observations.
The Truth
We are made in God’s image, and that means that we are made with characteristics that reflect attributes of God. Both Man and Woman are made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27). So I am going to conclude that Men have attributes that reflect God and women have attributes that reflect God.
Lets begin by looking at the men.  If you recall in my previous section about men (found here) I listed Power, Sex, Health/Sports, Money, Cars, Celebrities, and Fashion as masculine attributes that are praised by our culture.
The best place to begin is with Adam. Adam was the first man and he existed prior to sin entering the world.
The story of man prior to sin can be found in Genesis 1:26- 2:25. Using this text, we can discover a large portion of the truth about men.
When viewing this text there are three main attributes that jump out-
·      Dominion:
a.     God grants man (along with woman) dominion over all of the creatures of the earth.
                                               i.     Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”
b.     God instructs man (along with woman) to fill the earth and subdue it.
                                               i.     God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”
·      Work/Labor:
a.     Prior to popular belief, work existed before the Fall of Man.
                                               i.     Now no shrub had yet appeared on the earthand no plant had yet sprung up, for the LORD God had not sent rain on the earth and there was no one to work the ground, (2:5)
                                            ii.     The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. (2:15)
 Follower of the Law:
a.     The First instance of God’s law is in Genesis 2:16
                                              i.     And the LORD God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”
Now, the remainder of the truth about men will be found in the rest of Scripture. (And as I said before, for those of you that don’t feel Scripture is sufficient, I will include scientific support along with my observations.)
·      Warrior:
a.     Men, created in God’s image, are made to be warriors.
                                               i.     Who is this King of glory? The LORD strong and mighty, the LORD mighty in battle. Psalm 24:8
                                             ii.     Biblical examples include- Joshua, Samson, David.
                                            iii.     Scientific Support- Anatomically speaking men are better suited for war. They have greater muscle mass, larger lungs and hearts, thicker skin, thicker skulls, stronger bones/ligaments/tendons and they are better adapted to walk and run.
Provider:
a.     The role of men as provider for their household is established in Genesis and reiterated throughout the Bible.
                                               i.     Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.  1 Timothy 5:8
                                             ii.     He who gathers crops in summer is a prudent son,  but he who sleeps during harvest is a disgraceful son. Proverbs 10:5
                                            iii.     Whoever works his land will have plenty of bread, but he who follows worthless pursuits will have plenty of poverty. Proverbs 28:19
·      Resident Theologian:
a.     Men are to be knowledgeable regarding Scripture and the spiritual leaders of their homes
                                               i.     Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
                                             ii.     Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her  to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word- Ephesians 5: 25
                                            iii.     Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.  Deuteronomy 6:5-9
·      Headship:
a.     The final attribute, and perhaps the most widely rejected by our culture, is the attribute of headship. Essentially, men are supposed to lead. The opposite of male headship is male domination.
b.     Headship is established in Genesis, and reiterated with the example of Christ.
                                               i.     The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18
1.     Note- Men and Women are equal, but the role of man is to lead and the role of woman is to help. Additionally, the word “Helper” in this text is actually a very powerful word. The same word is used in Psalm 33:20- We wait in hope for the LORD;  he is our help and our shield.
                                             ii.     And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. Colossians 1:18
                                            iii.     For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Ephesians 5:23
Closing Remarks on Men:
It is said that the most dangerous lies are the ones that most closely resemble the truth, and I believe that is the case when it comes to men and the attribute of power specifically. Our culture associates power with male domination, which is then mischaracterized as “headship”. This is a lie that closely resembles truth.
Now on to women.
If you recall in my previous blog about women (found here) I listed Beauty, Fashion, Independence, Sexual Prowess and Fitness/Health as feminine attributes that are praised by our culture.
Lets return to Genesis, because that is where we will find Eve. The first woman. She also existed prior to the Fall. Again we look to Genesis 1:26- 2:25.
There are just three main attributes that jump out:
·      Dominion:
a.     Women share in the dominion granted to men in Genesis 1:26-30. Notice the words “They” and “Them”. Men and Women were created to have dominion together and subdue the earth together. Which leads me to my next point—
·      Child Bearer:
a.     One attribute that is under assault by our culture is the attribute of child bearing.  (In the US alone approximately 4,000 abortions occur each day. Don’t tell me that our culture values child bearing.)
                                               i.     God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.
·      Helper:
a.     The role of Helper is established in Genesis 2:18.
                                               i.     The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Some Biblical examples include Eve, Sarah, Ruth, Esther and Mary.
Side Note- Consider the genealogy of Christ and the mere fact that women are included. (Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba.) The claim that the Bible denigrates women is simply false.
Now, before you get upset about how short this section is on women, I want to change up the structure a little bit and just speak from the heart. One of the greatest attributes of God that women reflect is this- Beauty. It is important to note that physical beauty is given very little value in the Bible. The famous Proverbs 31 lists beauty as “fleeting”.  In fact, the Bible says “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight”.  1 Peter 3:3-4
I would argue that this attribute is under direct assault from our culture and Satan himself. Beauty is defined as being a certain height, weight, hair color and skin complexion. (Among other things.)
This is what I gather from Genesis:
Women are the crown of creation. If we look at the creation account in Genesis we see that each event gets progressively more complex. And each time, God saw that it was good. And on the final day, God saw all that He made and said it was very good.
The first time that God concludes that something is not good, is when man is alone. He then creates woman. Did you catch that?  In the creation process, the final thing that God creates, is woman. Crown of creation.
Women reflect the beauty, grace, and elegance of God in a way that men are incapable of doing. Conversely, men reflect the power, strength and warrior nature of God in a way that women are incapable of doing. And that is just fine, because men and women are different!
Closing Remarks on Women:
The Biblical picture of the male-female relationship is terribly mischaracterized by our culture. Men are painted as the dominant and aggressive leader while women are painted as the quiet and subservient housewife. Again, this is false. This is particularly relevant to the marriage relationship.
When viewing this relationship properly, one word comes to mind: Sacrifice. People take Ephesians 5: 22-23 and say “Hey, this is proof that women must submit to their husbands” or they will say “See how the Bible paints women, I don’t believe in that.”
But nobody bothers to read just a few verses down where Paul addresses men and delivers one of the most profound statements on this issue when he says- Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Now, ponder that for a moment. “Just as Christ loved the church”. This begs the question: How exactly did Christ love the church? The answer to this question completely changes the dynamic of the relationship. When we look at how Christ loved the church, we see the purest form of sacrificial love. We see humility. We see grace. We see redemption. We see blood shed on a Cross.
This perspective changes everything.
Final Thoughts:
Our culture has rejected this truth and replaced it with an absolute lie. I covered what our culture says about men and women in my previous posts, but I want to make one final point.
Are we really better off since adopting the cultural “truth” about men and women?  Because the culture tells us that Biblical principles are outdated and unnecessary. But is that claim true?
The simple answer is No.
Consider this:
1.     Half of all marriages end in divorce
2.     Only 51% of Americans are married. For some perspective, the number was 72% in 1960.
3.     Cohabitation, Single person households, and single parents have all increased since 1960.
As we can see, the deception that we have bought into has not yielded positive results. Moving forward, as Christians, it is absolutely essential for us to stand for truth. And the only way we can do that is by seeking to be True Men and Women of God.