Category Archives: Brian Amos

Uncomfortable Words

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Uncomfortable Words. An unusual title indeed. But in my never ending quest for truth, I thought it necessary to investigate various words that make us (men) uncomfortable. Words that make us cringe when we hear them or use them. Better yet, words that when put to practice, challenge us to our very core.

Here we go-

  • Intimacy

    • The concept of intimacy is completely contradictory to the “Macho Man” persona perpetuated by our culture. In fact, the only intimacy that is even mentioned in our culture is sexual intimacy. But relational and physical intimacy at any other level are rarely (if ever) discussed by men. 
    • Truth- God wishes to have an intimate relationship with us.
    • Example
      • John 
        • John describes himself as the “Disciple whom Jesus loved”. 
      • David
        • Described as a man after “God’s own heart”.
  • Gentle (Gentleness)
    • According to society- Gentleness = Weakness
    • Truth- Gentleness is a component of the Fruit of the Spirit. 
      • Personal Note- I think of Gentleness as power under control. Think Gentle Giant. Think of a father holding a child. Think of a Lion carrying its cubs. But we have to think of this on a deeper level. Think deeper than physical power. Think about our words. Consider the power a father holds over his children. He has the power to build up or tear down his children with just his words.  
      • “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18
    • Example- 
      • Christ
        • Just think, the Creator of the universe and everything in it, could still place His hands on children in a gentle manner. 
        • “Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them.  Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”  When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there.” -Matthew 19:13-15
  • Humble (Humility)
    • Lets face it men, humility is not our default setting. 
    • Being humble goes against 
      1.  Our sin nature 
      2.  What society promotes
    • Truth- Humility is a Godly trait and is absolutely necessary for a growing relationship with God (or anyone else for that matter). 
    • He mocks proud mockers but gives grace to the humble. – Proverbs 3:34 
    • Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. – James 4:10 

  • Submission
    •  Submission is a word that is often directed at women in a negative way. Critics of Christianity use this as their basis for saying the Bible is a male dominated religion that denigrates women. 
    • Truth- Submission is for both men and women.
    • Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. -Ephesians 5:21

This list is not exhaustive, but it is a good start. We must seek truth and view everything through the lens of Scripture.

That is all I have for now.

– B. 

Proverbs 4:23: Guarding Your Heart

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Today I am going to take a look at a concept that I believe is neglected by my generation. As a young adult, I am sharing from experience and observation. The concept I am discussing is guarding your heart. My generation excels at many things, but guarding our heart is not one of them.

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
Proverbs 4:23

This verse is well known, but how much do we practice it? Do we actively guard our heart? Do we believe it is in fact the wellspring of life? Do we even know how to guard our heart?

The answer for my generation is an emphatic “NO”. I’ve experienced the consequences of an unguarded heart. I’ve observed the damage done to close friends due to unguarded hearts. It is not a pretty sight. Christians and Non-Christians struggle with this concept.

With that being said, I want to examine the condition of an unguarded heart.
An unguarded heart is just that, not guarded. Easily harmed.
Question- Would you leave your most valuable possession unguarded for an extended period of time?…Yeah, didn’t think so. So why do we do it with our heart? The Bible says ABOVE ALL ELSE guard your heart. Let me give a few examples before I answer the question:

1) Unguarded heart in a relationship 
In a dating relationship it looks something like this-
Boy meets girl and there is a “spark”. Commonly called chemistry. A short amount of time passes and the boy and girl are communicating openly about everything. More time passes and the two individuals begin to date. By this time, serious connections are being made. Then, the breaking point is reached. The spark fades and the relationship ends. Regardless of who ended the relationship, both hearts are wounded. The depth of the wound will have a direct connection to the depth of their connection. Both individuals move on, but in most cases they carry the wound for a long time, and also into their next relationship.

(Notice the use of “boy” and “girl” in that example. A point I want to make is that a Man will do his best to protect his heart and the heart of the Woman he pursues.)

2) Simple imagery 
Imagine taking two whole pieces of Play Doh and sticking them together, and after a time, ripping them apart. Now, imagine doing that over and over again. What happens? Well, our once pure piece of Play Doh is now littered with several other pieces of Play Doh and pieces of it are missing.

This is how my generation does relationships. We attach our heart over and over again just to get it tainted over time by failed relationships.

Back to the question: Why do we leave our heart unguarded?
I think there are two main reasons-

1) We do not believe our heart is that valuable
2) We do not know how to guard our heart

 

The Bible is true, yes, we believe that. But do we believe that it is sufficient? We must be absolutely convicted that the Bible is sufficient. All of the truth that we need is found in the Bible.
Because if we do not believe the Bible is sufficient, then we will find “truth” in the world.
Find truth in the Word, not the world.
Next point- Not knowing how to guard our heart is not an excuse. Learn. Seek guidance. See what the Bible has to say about the issue. My answer to the question of how to guard your heart centers around Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 
The answer is simple: Allow Christ to guard your heart.
If your heart is wounded, allow Him to restore it. Make His Word the manual by which you live your life.
Believe what the Bible says- Your heart is valuable, guard it ABOVE ALL ELSE. 

Answering the Question- What’s Next? (Part 2)

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What’s Next?
Last week we took a look at this question, and this week I hope to provide a Biblical answer to this question and also offer some insight into how it applies on a day to day basis.

There are three main themes that I want to focus on from the Bible.

1) Do Not Worry About the Future

James 4:13-15

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”

Matthew 6:25-34

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

2) God’s Plan Prevails

Proverbs 19:21

Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.

3) We Do Not Own Our Lives

Jeremiah 10:23

LORD, I know that people’s lives are not their own; it is not for them to direct their steps.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

As you can see, the Bible speaks clearly on this issue. And the answer provided by the Bible is “I have placed my faith in the Lord, and I will follow Him.”

Now, lets revisit the examples that I provided before-

1) High school student approaching graduation-

Mr. So-and-So comes around and asks you What’s Next, What your plans are for the future? Are you going to college? If so, where? Etc.

Answer
“There are options that I am evaluating, but most of all I am trusting God to guide me in this important decision”

DISCLAIMER- I am not providing some “one size fits all” answer to this question. Everyone is in a different situation. Be honest and humble when answering this question. The main point is that you are seeking God in each and every decision you face, and in that process, you will be right where He wants you to be. Mr. So-and-So may not accept your answer, but you are not on this Earth to please Mr. So-and-So.

2) College student facing graduation, and the real world-

What’s Next? Do you have a job lined up? What about Grad School? Etc

“God guided me to college, and I trust that He will guide me in this next phase of my life. I am uncertain right now, but I know that He will provide for me if I trust in Him.”

NOTE- The one thing I hope you notice in this portion is the first sentence. God has proven His faithfulness to this student and the student is confident that God will provide for their future IF they continue to trust in Him. I’ve learned that life only gets frustrating when we try and control it.

3) Young adult with a growing family.

What’s Next? How many kids are you going to have? Public or private school? Etc. 

“God has guided me up to this point, and He will continue to do so. I will raise my children based on the Lord’s principles and trust Him to guide them as He has guided me.”

NOTE- The key here is that the parent is focused on raising their child in a Godly household. All of the different worldly details don’t really matter that much. ( # of kids, where to live, how to live, who to be friends with, job to have, where children will go to school)

4) Yourself, approaching death

The question of What’s Next is never asked in this situation. Because the Christian, who has placed their Faith in Christ, knows the answer to this question and is anticipating their entrance into His Presence.

NOTE- This is awesome!!!

Conclusion-

The question Whats Next is ultimately a question of Faith. Where do you place your faith? Do you place your faith in the world, in yourself, or in the Lord?

Answering the Question- What’s Next? (Part 1)

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Answering the Question- What’s Next?
   
What’s next?

This question must be answered by everyone at some point in their life. You may be in high school and graduation is a year away and you still dont know what you want to do or where you want to go to college (if you even want to go to college). Every time you see an adult they will ask you-
So where are you going to college? What do you want to do when you get there?
Blah blah blah. All this time your stress level is rising because you dont have “the perfect answer”

You know what the perfect answer is in our society? It goes something like this-

“Well Mr. So-and-So, I am going to the (Insert prestigious University) where I will major in (Insert impressive sounding Major)and go on to (Insert impressive sounding Grad Program) and come out and join the work force as a successful (Insert Title Here). I will meet my wife during this time and have 2.5 children and live the happiest life anyone has ever lived.”

Or maybe youre in college and you have settled into your major and graduation is staring you in the face (as is the case with me). You naively believe that you have escaped the What’s Next question. But you quickly realize that as graduation approaches, that same
 Mr. So-and-So wants to know what your plans are.
They will ask questions like this-

Oh so you are majoring in (Insert slightly less impressive Major), so what can you do with that degree? What are your plans? Got any jobs lined up? Do you enjoy it? Considering Grad School?  Blah blah blah.

Once again, your stress level is rising because you know in your heart and mind that you are not certain what your plans are. You dont have “the perfect answer”. So, you give them the socially acceptable answer which goes something like this.

“Well Mr. So-and-So, I am not quite sure right now. I have some ideas that I am exploring. I have considered grad school at (insert impressive sounding University) or maybe trying to find a job in my field. I am just taking my time now to evaluate my options.” (Which is a euphemism for “I really have no clue what I am going to do”)

You breathe a huge sigh of relief when they accept your answer and move on.

Time goes on and you find a job (hopefully), grow up and get married. Not too long after that, a child is on the way and you find yourself wondering, What’s Next? You are responsible for a spouse and a baby, and you feel totally unprepared for the job. (Note- every parent i have ever talked to has said they never felt ready to be a parent, it really is on the job training)

You are a new parent and full of joy, when all of the sudden Mr. So-and-So comes around. You think to yourself “Great. Not Mr. So-and-So again, this guy always asks me the same thing”
Sure enough, Mr. So-and-So comes after you like a killer whale chasing a baby seal.

Congratulations on the baby!
What are your plans? How many kids are you gonna have? Are you going to put them in public or private school? Hows work going? Are yall going to move?

Once again, you are stressed. At this point, your reply is so well refined that Mr. So-and-So leaves completely satisfied with your answer.
“Thanks Mr. So-and-So! We are excited about the baby. Work is going well, any better and I wouldnt know what to do with myself (insert fake hearty laughter)!!!
Wife is great, life is great. Thanks!”

Years go by quickly and your children have grown up and moved away. You grow old with your spouse and one of you will outlive the other one. You find yourself growing old and weary, and you know that death is approaching.

Now, the question What’s Next is not being asked by Mr. So-and-So, it is being asked by you. “Where do I go when I die? What happens? Is there life after this? What’s Next?”

(Stay tuned for Part 2)

 – B


A New Perspective

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A New Perspective

One definition of Perspective is “the state of one’s ideas, the facts known to one, etc.”

My definition of perspective is simple- Perspective is how we view things.
Over time, our perspective will change. Experiences, people, knowledge etc will all impact our perspective.

But, here is the point- As Christians, it should be our mission to see things through the eyes of Christ. We should strive to gain a new perspective of the world, His perspective.
Lately, I have  been blessed with a new perspective. God has really been trying to show me something through the death of my mom. As difficult as this time has been, I have sought to understand more clearly God’s purpose in this event. I know that ultimately this event will bring Him glory and I hold fast to the promise of Romans 8:28-

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  

The new perspective that I have gained mainly focuses on death. Death is a terrible thing in the eyes of the world, but how does it look to Christ? How should death be viewed as a Christian? I mourn the loss of my mother, but as the old cliche goes, she is in a better place.

This perspective was reinforced in me recently while reading through 2 Corinthians 5. Specifically verses 6-10.
 6 Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. 7 For we live by faith, not by sight. 8 We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. 9 So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. 10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. 

 The new perspective is this- to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.  
To look at death from this perspective is not always easy, but it has provided me comfort.
As i consider this new perspective that I have been blessed with, I wonder about seeing all things as God sees them. The next few subjects are particularly convicting because I know that I do not always view things from the right perspective.
Consider people-
 
How do we view people?
Do we view people as the world views them or as God does?
The world views people based on how they look. Just think about how many opinions you form about someone based on how their appearance. When I think about it, I am convicted to the core. 
The Bible makes it clear how we should view people- Consider 1 Samuel 16:7 
But the LORD said to Samuel,<sup value="(A)”> “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance,<sup value="(B)”> but the LORD looks on the heart.” 
Do we see people as the Lord does? Do we look at the heart?

I can honestly say that this is a struggle for me

Consider truth-
Do we believe truth is relative or absolute?  
Do we even believe truth exists?
The world denies the existence of truth OR claims that truth is relative.
The Bible stands in direct opposition to this perspective on truth. Truth is pretty straightforward from a Biblical perspective. Truth is absolute, and the Bible itself is truth because it is the Word of God.
John 14:6
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
John 17:17
Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.

In closing, I would encourage you to examine your current perspective. Consider how you view people and truth, but also consider other topics. Perspective applies to all things. Relationships, Worship, God, Faith, etc.








– B