Category Archives: Culture

Proverbs 4:23: Guarding Your Heart

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Today I am going to take a look at a concept that I believe is neglected by my generation. As a young adult, I am sharing from experience and observation. The concept I am discussing is guarding your heart. My generation excels at many things, but guarding our heart is not one of them.

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
Proverbs 4:23

This verse is well known, but how much do we practice it? Do we actively guard our heart? Do we believe it is in fact the wellspring of life? Do we even know how to guard our heart?

The answer for my generation is an emphatic “NO”. I’ve experienced the consequences of an unguarded heart. I’ve observed the damage done to close friends due to unguarded hearts. It is not a pretty sight. Christians and Non-Christians struggle with this concept.

With that being said, I want to examine the condition of an unguarded heart.
An unguarded heart is just that, not guarded. Easily harmed.
Question- Would you leave your most valuable possession unguarded for an extended period of time?…Yeah, didn’t think so. So why do we do it with our heart? The Bible says ABOVE ALL ELSE guard your heart. Let me give a few examples before I answer the question:

1) Unguarded heart in a relationship 
In a dating relationship it looks something like this-
Boy meets girl and there is a “spark”. Commonly called chemistry. A short amount of time passes and the boy and girl are communicating openly about everything. More time passes and the two individuals begin to date. By this time, serious connections are being made. Then, the breaking point is reached. The spark fades and the relationship ends. Regardless of who ended the relationship, both hearts are wounded. The depth of the wound will have a direct connection to the depth of their connection. Both individuals move on, but in most cases they carry the wound for a long time, and also into their next relationship.

(Notice the use of “boy” and “girl” in that example. A point I want to make is that a Man will do his best to protect his heart and the heart of the Woman he pursues.)

2) Simple imagery 
Imagine taking two whole pieces of Play Doh and sticking them together, and after a time, ripping them apart. Now, imagine doing that over and over again. What happens? Well, our once pure piece of Play Doh is now littered with several other pieces of Play Doh and pieces of it are missing.

This is how my generation does relationships. We attach our heart over and over again just to get it tainted over time by failed relationships.

Back to the question: Why do we leave our heart unguarded?
I think there are two main reasons-

1) We do not believe our heart is that valuable
2) We do not know how to guard our heart

 

The Bible is true, yes, we believe that. But do we believe that it is sufficient? We must be absolutely convicted that the Bible is sufficient. All of the truth that we need is found in the Bible.
Because if we do not believe the Bible is sufficient, then we will find “truth” in the world.
Find truth in the Word, not the world.
Next point- Not knowing how to guard our heart is not an excuse. Learn. Seek guidance. See what the Bible has to say about the issue. My answer to the question of how to guard your heart centers around Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 
The answer is simple: Allow Christ to guard your heart.
If your heart is wounded, allow Him to restore it. Make His Word the manual by which you live your life.
Believe what the Bible says- Your heart is valuable, guard it ABOVE ALL ELSE. 

Do Not Be Deceived: Women

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Much like my previous post on Men, I am seeking to answer the question- “What does the world say a woman is?”

What are the attributes that define a woman? What are some things that all women should strive to be? What is their role in society? Etc etc.

I do not claim to be an expert on women, but this post is more about analyzing what the world says, not what I say.

So here we go- What does the world say a woman is?

The primary sources for this particular post will be http://www.cosmopolitan.com/ and http://www.womenshealthmag.com/.

I feel that these are both adequate sources for what I am trying to do.  The following list is by no means exhaustive, but it does capture the observations that I made by viewing the aforementioned sources-

  1. Beauty– Beauty is an important topic for women. Beauty is a feminine trait. Beautiful women are admirable and most desirable. Beauty is predominantly based on outward appearance.
  2. Fashion– Fashion is also important. It is tied to Beauty. They are topics that are dependent on each other. Fashion is a key component in popularity and value. It is an expression of status.
  3. Independence– An independent woman is attractive. Women should be self sufficient but also exude an attitude of independence. Anything that would inhibit independence is looked down on.
  4. Sexual Prowess– Sexual prowess is something every woman should strive for. Sex is a common activity in relationships.
  5. Fitness/Health– Women should be fit. Losing weight is a common theme and staying thin is important. Fitness and health are tied to Beauty of course.

That is all for now. Moving on to Truth.

Do Not Be Deceived: Men

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The question I am seeking to answer in this entry is “What does the world say a man is?”

What makes a man: great, strong, powerful, and attractive?

If you are reading this, then I challenge you with this question- What lies have you believed about men? What do you think a man is?

Because here is the reality- We are constantly bombarded with messages to the point that we become numb to what we are seeing, hearing, believing etc. And in this assault of lies, we inevitably accept some of the lies as truth. This is convicting for me (as many of my blogs are) because at some point or another, I have probably accepted these lies as truth.

Disclaimer- While reading this, I imagine you will tell yourself- “I dont believe this, no way.” But the question I submit to you is this- Do your actions match your stated beliefs? Consider that as we evaluate what the world says about a man.

Here we go- What does the world say a man is?

My research on this was very simple. I simply typed “Men” into the search bar. I came to a very popular website. http://www.askmen.com/

I have made some observations based off of AskMen.

  1. Power- Power is a masculine attribute. Powerful men are important. Power is something a man should strive for. Power comes from position, influence and money.
  2. Sex- Sex is nothing more than a recreational activity that is a common act between people, whether they are in a relationship or not. Men are encouraged to hone their sexual skills and conquer as many women as they so choose. Sexual urges are normal and they should not be inhibited in any way.
  3. Health and Sports- The world praises athletes. Our culture glorifies exceptional athletes. Men that have athletic prowess are generally highly regarded. Fitness is also very important. Men are expected to be in great shape.
  4. Money-  Money means everything, especially for men. A man that makes a lot of money is very successful.
  5. Cars- Nice cars symbolize success and status.
  6. Celebrities- Celebrities are the ultimate measuring stick for a man. They have money, power, and status.
  7. Fashion- Fashion is just another way to show that we are wealthy or powerful. How we dress determines the type of man that we are.

This list is by no means exhaustive, but it is more than adequate. Now,  moving on to Women.

Answering the Question- What’s Next? (Part 2)

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What’s Next?
Last week we took a look at this question, and this week I hope to provide a Biblical answer to this question and also offer some insight into how it applies on a day to day basis.

There are three main themes that I want to focus on from the Bible.

1) Do Not Worry About the Future

James 4:13-15

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”

Matthew 6:25-34

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

2) God’s Plan Prevails

Proverbs 19:21

Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.

3) We Do Not Own Our Lives

Jeremiah 10:23

LORD, I know that people’s lives are not their own; it is not for them to direct their steps.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

As you can see, the Bible speaks clearly on this issue. And the answer provided by the Bible is “I have placed my faith in the Lord, and I will follow Him.”

Now, lets revisit the examples that I provided before-

1) High school student approaching graduation-

Mr. So-and-So comes around and asks you What’s Next, What your plans are for the future? Are you going to college? If so, where? Etc.

Answer
“There are options that I am evaluating, but most of all I am trusting God to guide me in this important decision”

DISCLAIMER- I am not providing some “one size fits all” answer to this question. Everyone is in a different situation. Be honest and humble when answering this question. The main point is that you are seeking God in each and every decision you face, and in that process, you will be right where He wants you to be. Mr. So-and-So may not accept your answer, but you are not on this Earth to please Mr. So-and-So.

2) College student facing graduation, and the real world-

What’s Next? Do you have a job lined up? What about Grad School? Etc

“God guided me to college, and I trust that He will guide me in this next phase of my life. I am uncertain right now, but I know that He will provide for me if I trust in Him.”

NOTE- The one thing I hope you notice in this portion is the first sentence. God has proven His faithfulness to this student and the student is confident that God will provide for their future IF they continue to trust in Him. I’ve learned that life only gets frustrating when we try and control it.

3) Young adult with a growing family.

What’s Next? How many kids are you going to have? Public or private school? Etc. 

“God has guided me up to this point, and He will continue to do so. I will raise my children based on the Lord’s principles and trust Him to guide them as He has guided me.”

NOTE- The key here is that the parent is focused on raising their child in a Godly household. All of the different worldly details don’t really matter that much. ( # of kids, where to live, how to live, who to be friends with, job to have, where children will go to school)

4) Yourself, approaching death

The question of What’s Next is never asked in this situation. Because the Christian, who has placed their Faith in Christ, knows the answer to this question and is anticipating their entrance into His Presence.

NOTE- This is awesome!!!

Conclusion-

The question Whats Next is ultimately a question of Faith. Where do you place your faith? Do you place your faith in the world, in yourself, or in the Lord?

Answering the Question- What’s Next? (Part 1)

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Answering the Question- What’s Next?
   
What’s next?

This question must be answered by everyone at some point in their life. You may be in high school and graduation is a year away and you still dont know what you want to do or where you want to go to college (if you even want to go to college). Every time you see an adult they will ask you-
So where are you going to college? What do you want to do when you get there?
Blah blah blah. All this time your stress level is rising because you dont have “the perfect answer”

You know what the perfect answer is in our society? It goes something like this-

“Well Mr. So-and-So, I am going to the (Insert prestigious University) where I will major in (Insert impressive sounding Major)and go on to (Insert impressive sounding Grad Program) and come out and join the work force as a successful (Insert Title Here). I will meet my wife during this time and have 2.5 children and live the happiest life anyone has ever lived.”

Or maybe youre in college and you have settled into your major and graduation is staring you in the face (as is the case with me). You naively believe that you have escaped the What’s Next question. But you quickly realize that as graduation approaches, that same
 Mr. So-and-So wants to know what your plans are.
They will ask questions like this-

Oh so you are majoring in (Insert slightly less impressive Major), so what can you do with that degree? What are your plans? Got any jobs lined up? Do you enjoy it? Considering Grad School?  Blah blah blah.

Once again, your stress level is rising because you know in your heart and mind that you are not certain what your plans are. You dont have “the perfect answer”. So, you give them the socially acceptable answer which goes something like this.

“Well Mr. So-and-So, I am not quite sure right now. I have some ideas that I am exploring. I have considered grad school at (insert impressive sounding University) or maybe trying to find a job in my field. I am just taking my time now to evaluate my options.” (Which is a euphemism for “I really have no clue what I am going to do”)

You breathe a huge sigh of relief when they accept your answer and move on.

Time goes on and you find a job (hopefully), grow up and get married. Not too long after that, a child is on the way and you find yourself wondering, What’s Next? You are responsible for a spouse and a baby, and you feel totally unprepared for the job. (Note- every parent i have ever talked to has said they never felt ready to be a parent, it really is on the job training)

You are a new parent and full of joy, when all of the sudden Mr. So-and-So comes around. You think to yourself “Great. Not Mr. So-and-So again, this guy always asks me the same thing”
Sure enough, Mr. So-and-So comes after you like a killer whale chasing a baby seal.

Congratulations on the baby!
What are your plans? How many kids are you gonna have? Are you going to put them in public or private school? Hows work going? Are yall going to move?

Once again, you are stressed. At this point, your reply is so well refined that Mr. So-and-So leaves completely satisfied with your answer.
“Thanks Mr. So-and-So! We are excited about the baby. Work is going well, any better and I wouldnt know what to do with myself (insert fake hearty laughter)!!!
Wife is great, life is great. Thanks!”

Years go by quickly and your children have grown up and moved away. You grow old with your spouse and one of you will outlive the other one. You find yourself growing old and weary, and you know that death is approaching.

Now, the question What’s Next is not being asked by Mr. So-and-So, it is being asked by you. “Where do I go when I die? What happens? Is there life after this? What’s Next?”

(Stay tuned for Part 2)

 – B